People in long term relationships will someday get to the point where they need to ask themselves … is this really the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? Is she really “the one”?
Scientists all over the world are researching the extremely complicated issues surrounding love and relationships. They have spent countless hours trying to figure out how people fit together and what qualities they need to bring into a relationship to make it a happy and lasting one. Here are the most important and interesting results of these studies.
If the woman by your side has the following qualities, never let her go!
1. She is Intellectually Challenging
There is no denying that someone’s looks are what initially draws us to them. It’s difficult to spot a great personality from across the room. Many “flings” are built on physical attraction alone, but how long can that last?
When conversations lack depth or intrigue, we often fill our time with physical activity together, but it is impossible to build a real connection or lasting relationship with someone, on that alone.
Being intellectually challenging and the ability to hold real discussions about meaningful topics will always beat shallow beauty in the long run.
2. She Carries Herself With Class
Class has nothing to do with the price tag on your outfit. Class is about the dignity you carry yourself with and the level of respect you show to those around you. True class and elegance shows! It’s hard to miss a lady who’s poised and polite to everyone. She far outshines the woman who’s all decked out but can’t treat others with respect.
3. She is Honest and Genuine
How long will you stay in a committed relationship with a beautiful liar? If you cannot trust your partner, or believe what she says, how can you construct a solid, lasting foundation with her? You can’t! Studies show that when men look for a long term, committed relationship, they want to have an honest partner by their side. Everyone makes mistakes and bad decisions sometimes. This makes it even more important to have someone who can tell you when you’re wrong and help you get back on track.
4. She Compromises
It’s easy to be committed in a relationship when it’s going well, but life can’t always be a bed of roses and at some point in your relationship, you and your partner will disagree about some things. It’s completely normal and inevitable. But the relationship can only work if both partners are willing to compromise. Scientists say, that those willing to take the steps and make the sacrifices, will have a long and happy relationship.
5. She Is Kind and Empathetic
Science says, that the keys to a long and happy relationship are kindness, generosity and understanding. In life, we need a person who will believe in us, even when we don’t believe in ourselves; someone who can understand when we’re facing tough times. Being compassionate, supportive and encouraging towards your partner, is a huge part of building a successful relationship.
6. She is Consistent
Being consistent means that her personality has not changed from what it was when you first met. To clarify the point, think of consistence as the opposite of volatility. If someone is unpredictable and volatile, it’s difficult to know how they will be acting towards you on a certain day – and that gets old, no matter how aesthetically pleasing she is.
7. She Accepts Your Flaws
Too many relationships only seem to consist of one partner criticizing the other – their ugly pants, their bad jokes, or their annoying habit of chewing too loudly. You get the picture? Your partner should never make you feel inferior, unaccepted, or not good enough. Yes, she should encourage you to improve yourself, but she should do that by building you up, not tearing you down.
8. She Has a Good Relationship With Her Parents
This one is mainly about younger people, than older women who if they are self aware, may have learned a thing or two. It also applies equally to both men and women.
If you want to know what your partner will be like in thirty years, look at their parents. If you want to know how they will treat you in thirty years, look at how they treat their parents now. But this doesn’t mean that her relationship with her parents needs to be perfect. Understanding your contribution to the relationship with your parents would be important to recognizing any tendency to replicate behaviour – positive or negative – in an intimate relationship.
The only way to learn how to do better in other relationships, is to be aware of those behaviours.
9. She Holds Similar Values to You
Many times, our value system comes from our upbringing – the things we find important, the things we strongly believe in, the way we treat others and the way we treat ourselves. The importance of this point cannot be stressed enough. When you set out to make a life with someone, it is important that the two of you agree on some of the non-negotiable values that each of you hold. It doesn’t matter how attractive you are to someone, or even how well you get along, if your values don’t align, you will always be clashing in the long run.
10. She Can Move Past Jealousy
While some jealousy is natural in a relationship, it’s important that both partners are secure enough in themselves and each other, to know where to focus their energy. Being sensible and trusting each other is important if you want a happy life.
Personal space is important for growth – and it’s up to both partners to have enough trust in each other to allow for that. A mature, quality woman, will allow you to have your freedom, provided that you don’t betray her trust.
11. She Supports Your Goals and Persues Her Own
You need a healthy combination of personal goals and goals that you pursue together. A strong woman by your side will motivate you, but won’t be dependent on you. You don’t need to worry about her and she won’t need your constant validation. She inspires you to be the best version of yourself, without changing who you are.
12. She Laughs at Your Jokes
Of course, we all want someone by our side who actually laughs at our jokes. According to studies, having a partner who thinks you are funny, is more important for men than it is for women. If you have already found a woman you can laugh with, make sure to take good care of her.
13. She Remains Calm in Fights and Calms You Down Too
Fights are inevitable in all relationships. Never disagreeing is not a sign of a stable relationship. But the important thing is how you deal with the disagreements and how you make up again afterwards. Research has found that relationships will last the longest, if a woman can calm herself during a fight and transfer those emotions to the man. Interestingly, the effect is not the same if the man is the one to calm down first.
14. She Does Not Hold Grudges
If you have found a woman who can forgive others, you will have her by your side for a long time. According to studies, people who can unconditionally forgive others, live longer, but perhaps more importantly, forgiveness is the foundation of a healthy relationship. People are not perfect and neither are you.
There will be times when you inadvertently do something that hurts your partner – and you will need her to be able to forgive you.
15. She Puts Effort into the Relationship
It’s no secret that sometimes the romance wears off in long term relationships. But you shouldn’t let it and neither should she. When she puts in an effort for you and for the relationship, you know that she is invested. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures. Little things are enough to show you that she cares and is willing to go the extra mile for the happiness of the two of you.
If a woman continues to do what she knows attracted you in the first place, it shows that she cares about keeping you around.
In Summary . . .
Yes, I will be the first one to say it – women like this are hard to find. But if you are fortunate enough to have found one, then make sure you do whatever it takes to make her feel special every day.
Having said that, every man probably has a different checklist for what he is looking for in a quality woman. But one would be hard pressed to find a guy who didn’t agree with the points listed here.
As a final observation, I’m sure that most women who already have the above qualities would agree, that finding a man with most, if not all, the above, would and should be on their checklist too. How many are worthy of such a woman? It’s all about give and take.
The bottom line is . . . whether you’re male or female, if you’re really looking for a relationship that lasts, then choose wisely!