What Stops Most People From Doing The Very Thing That Can Make Their Life Better
When most people hear the advice, “You have to love yourself,” they either tune it out or reject it outright. They think it’s too “out there,” or they don’t understand what it really means. Some people even imagine that “loving yourself” is somehow equivalent to being proud or selfish.
This dilemma is unfortunate, because loving yourself is the very thing that can make your life better in every way.
In my experience, there are 3 misguided approaches people take in order to feel better about themselves and about their life. These approaches don’t work because they are a way to seek love and approval elsewhere instead of from within, where it really matters.
Have you ever done any of these things?
1. You spend money on yourself because you “deserve it.”
Loving yourself doesn’t mean buying nice things or treating yourself to massages, vacations, a nice car or an expensive restaurant meal.
In fact, I see people constantly looking for the next big “fix” that will allow them to feel momentarily better about their life or relationship. The fixes never do, because underneath all those treats and expenses, you still don’t love yourself and who you really are, at the core.
2. You do things for others so they won’t think you’re a bad person.
This is classic people pleasing behavior. You say “yes” to doing things for others when you really don’t have the time or the desire, because you don’t want to disappoint them.
You don’t dare disagree with a friend for fear they’ll be angry with you. You often wonder how you got yourself into commitments that turn out to be a giant headache.
If you’re seeking approval from others in order to feel like a good, hard-working, loving person, you’ll forever run yourself ragged. That’s because no matter what compliments others bestow upon you, you’ll never feel like enough.
3. You keep searching for that perfect relationship.
You keep thinking that someday, life will be so much better when you find the right partner and fall in love. You’ll finally feel as though you belong, or that you’re understood and appreciated for who you are.
Looking to another person to make you feel whole is a losing strategy.
No One Can Make You Feel Deserving Of Love, No Matter How Much They Say, “I Love You”
If you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to feel loved by anyone else.
You’ll criticize, blame and lash out, because deep down, you can’t accept anyone for who they are because you can’t accept who YOU are.
The good news is that loving yourself doesn’t require nearly as much effort as it takes to try to make someone love you. And it certainly doesn’t require maxing out your credit card buying the things you think will make you happy.
Loving yourself is a much simpler process than you think, and it’s WAY more powerful than hearing praise from a loved one or the momentary thrill of spending money on an experience or object.
It can change everything for you, because loving yourself is at the core of living a happy life and experiencing close and loving relationships that thrive.
When you learn how to love yourself, everything changes.
Your relationships will improve because you’ll no longer be hiding your true self from others. You’ll face challenges with honesty and integrity, which will allow you to feel confident and calm around friends and loved ones.
Your career and life purpose will be transformed, because you’ll get clear about what you love to do and how you want to contribute to the world – unapologetically.
Your health and well-being will blossom as you tap into what you need to be healthy and to perform better on a day-to-day basis, and you’ll have the self-respect to actually do it.
Loving yourself can be one of the most transformative things you do that will improve all aspects of your life.
But it’s a process that has to start from within you, not from outside of you.
As long as you look to other people or things to make you feel accepted and happy, whatever you do will never quite feel like enough.
Only loving yourself can bring you the sense of inner peace and contentment you’ve been longing for all this time.